The Wire of Marital Troubles

The Wire of Marital Troubles
By Tristan J Deen
Every now again, a couple goes through
A period of time where they doubt
They can deal with all their hullabaloo
But they soon discover they can’t live without.

This wire that I found
It has a dark history
This wire on the ground
Is surrounded by mystery.

It starts with an evil woman
Of which there are many
Was she just human?
As human as any.

Her name is unknown
But we’ll call her Harriet Submen
What did she do you ask?
She killed her husband!

A few years before
They both got life insurance
They were married for years four
Their relationship had endurance.

But things can change
No matter how perfect it seems
It doesn’t always stay the same
Only in our dreams.

He had many friends
The husband had been around
Not all of which were male
Suddenly their relationship wasn’t sound.

He was arriving at home later than usual
His wife was suspicious
It seemed like trouble
That he was being surreptitious.

He got home with lipstick on his neck
Harriet couldn’t believe it
She thought… “What the heck!”
She pretended she didn’t see it.

Things were fine for a few years
Their relationship seemed strong
But he kept coming home late
And didn’t ever stay long.

Harriet was worried
That she was losing her hubby
She was going mad- INSANE!
Her solution was bloody.

Planned it in advance did Harriet
So when her husband came home
She hoped it went exactly as she planned it
She would finally live alone!

When her husband arrived
Drunk as always
He made his way to the shower
Stumbling across the hallways.

When he was in the shower
Harriet grabbed a wire
Her steps had so much power
Her eyes like fire.
The husband was singing a popular tune
The wife stopped
Is this too soon?
Her intentions were flopped.

Her insides were churning
She was confused
Her motivations were turning
Her plan was bruised.

Her husband was done
She had to think fast
Before he could react
She stuck the wire up his ass!

He squealed like a pig
The wife screamed “You deserve it!”
She pulled it out fast
What she did next was perfect.

She wrapped it around her hands
So it wouldn’t slip off
She tied around his neck,
Trying to slice his head clean off!

She squeezed and squeezed
With all her might
He wheezed and wheezed
Throughout the night.

After a long time
The head finally slipped off
The head rolled on the floor
And then it coughed.

The severed head said, “Harriet why?”
Harriet was shocked and jumped
The disembodied head started to cry
Her heart bumped and pumped.

“How did this happen?”
She said silently
“I’m not an assassin!”
Oh, the irony!

This severed head was really quite a nuisance.
“Oh, what do I do?”
Now she couldn’t collect on the life insurance.
May that be a lesson to you

If your potential other is running around
Doing things that they shouldn’t do
Please don’t cut off their head
Just kick them out on the count of two.
THE END?